Being in love with 2 people.

Over the past month I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster. Im with one person I love very much but I’ve fallen for another as well. I continue to love them both but in different ways. My love is not diminished by having two loves and I fear this world we live in cannot accept how I feel. My heart is telling me that my true purpose lies in being able to be open with many people, the people that will naturally flow into my life and fulfill me as I fulfill them. Yet my current love, the one I’ve been with for 4 years now, does not understand this calling within me. I feel as if I can connect with others deeply we can learn, grow, and heal together. Him not being ok with this is in conflict with my personal identity and values. My heart feels as if it’s being broken and repressed and I fear even if I try to let go of this desire for my other love I will be filled with resentment for a good portion of my life. I’m trying to be patient but it doesn’t seem to matter. For those of you that don’t understand I have discovered I am polyamorous. My current partner calls me a sociopath because I feel this way. But I haven’t cheated or lied to him. Ive been honest with him and done nothing but he can’t accept me. This other person that I love is not the ideal partner longterm, but thats the thing I don’t want to just be with one person. I want to know many loves. How does one know when to make a choice between an ideal monogamous relationship or what feels to be your polyamorous calling? I just don’t know what to do anymore.

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